Conversations on a London bus #2

Two girls on the top of a bus.

Girl 1: So we went to the hospital and I couldn’t stop crying. They told me I have to start the injections on the first day of my cycle. But how do I know which is the first day? It’s really difficult to tell. I got really technical and looked at my tampon and I think, you know, the flow started properly at half past eleven. So does that mean the first day of my cycle was yesterday or today? The nurse said wait until your next cycle if you’re unsure, but I can’t wait! So I couldn’t stop crying and I asked her if it was today or yesterday. It’s really important that you get it right, because otherwise it might not work. The nurse just said I had to make up my mind.

Girl 2: It’s really difficult to know, I know.

Girl 1: And then they sent me to a male nurse and I told him about the tampon, he told me I had to choose, but what does he know, he’s never used a tampon in his life.

Girl 1: So I’ll have to inject myself once a day. You have to put it all together yourself, it’s a really big needle, and you have to tap the syringe and get all the air bubbles out and inject yourself. I don’t like needles in the first place. Then you do that for two weeks and then you have a scan, and if they think you’re ready then you do two injections a day. Then you go to the hospital, and I’m not joking, you have to shove a massive suppository full of opiates up your own arse. I hope they have some lube or something. Then they give you a huge injection and after that they pluck out your eggs. The weird thing is I haven’t actually told them that he’s not my partner.